Why is Steve so Serious today?

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.
-Charlie Chaplin
How do people perceive you? Everyone perceives me in different ways. I've noticed this at work in particular . My friends perceive me as goofy,joking and occasionally over emotional. I've been told that I have a sick sense of humour . For instance I told someone the other day that if he didnt stop splashing me with water that I was going to make slippers out of his childrens lungs. Now see I KNOW some of you are laughing and the rest of you are checking the locks on your doors. The thing is I allways say things like that, mostly cuz I know it makes my pals laugh but those that might overhear me say that may think I have brain damage. The truth is its a little of both..well that and I think lungs would make lousy slippers.

I like making people laugh, its probably my favorite pastime. To make another person smile or laugh themselves to tears is fun for me. I like making other people happy and yet ive met people in my life that seem to desire the opposite. People that thrive on causing other pain. Those are the ones to be afraid of not me.
Theres a difference between a friend and a co-worker. Im friends with allmost all of my co-workers which is grand. It makes the job much better and dealing with long shifts easier. These are the people I can joke with and have fun with. When people see me and im with my friends I seem happy and goofy. Then theres the other side of the coin were I work with someone who goes out of thier way to be rude to me or to try to make me feel inferior or the best one is where you work with someone who sits there and does nothing during thier shift but talk or spend all thier time texting thier friends. That crap irritates me and makes me want to skin them and roll them in salt. --again the sick humour---

If you were to see me when im with these people I seem quiet,serious and angry. Sometimes I can go through a whole shift like that and if a customer see's me like that everytime they come in they make perceive me as being a solem,grumpy person.
Truthfully im both of these personas. I had a crappy life when I was younger and yes yes all the psych majors are going.."your jokemaking is a reflex action to your childhood trauma"...well BIG WHOOP. Tell me one person who hasnt had some trauma in thier life and i'll show you a liar. But I dont use that as a crutch. In fact i've come to embrace that knee jerk , make a joke, reaction to problems as a good thing. It sometimes un-nerves people that im so familiar with them or slap them on the back and make a crack about my desire for a bag of Toasted Beagle Wedges just to make my vegitarian friends squirm.
But in the end I cant and dont worry about how other people percieve me anymore like I did when I was a teenager. I just do what I do and I try to make the people I call friend smile a little more and forget how dreary life can be in this city of rust.